"So what was that all about?" I asked Cole. We had just left his . . . Maybe it would be easier to say 'the' house, since I was living there now, too. Anyway, we were finally on our way to the mall, but Claire had definitely made me feel off-balance and defensive, and I was a little irritated.

"Family tradition," Cole replied, looking a bit shame-faced.

"Cole," I said somewhat exasperatedly, "that might have been the first time I've ever gone through something like that, but I've seen it on TV. It might have been more subtle, but that was a 'father-in-law' interrogation if I've ever seen one, except your mom did it. And we've only known each other a couple of days, now!"

"Mom might have had a premonition."

"What?" I asked a bit sharply.

"Kind of runs in the family. She's Romany."

"Roman?"

"Romany. Gypsy."

"She's a fortune teller?"

"Not professionally; she just has these feelings, sometimes."

"A psychic," I remarked disbelievingly. Not that I didn't believe him, it just seemed so . . . strange.

"Like I said, it runs in the family."

Something about that statement was itching at my brain.

"Are you trying to say that you . . . ?"

Cole blushed lightly and shrugged helplessly. "Not very often – and it's usually just a vague feeling about something."

"Did you know that we . . . ?"

"NO! No, I just . . . hoped," he said, finishing in almost a whisper. His cheeks were more than a bit rosy.

Our conversation had served to unsettle me even more, but he looked so pitiful. And since I'd had my share of premonitions come true, I believed him. So I reached over and playfully punched his arm. When he looked at me, I gave him a wry smile. He gave me a hesitant smile in return.

"It's not like you could have made me do anything I didn't want to, anyway," I said.

"No," he agreed.

Cole was quiet, and I was thinking about what he'd said.

"So you think she's seen us together as a couple?" I asked after awhile.

Cole shrugged. "Dunno," he said.

"But you said—"

"I said she might have," he told me, interrupting.

I had to admit that was true, although I didn't say anything. But . . . ."That would explain the questions, though." It would also explain her preternatural 'observations', I thought.

Cole blushed and gave a short shrug, but he also gave a little nod of his head.

"So what do you want?" I asked him.

That question caught me flat-footed. What did I want? Besides him? 'Cause there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted Luke. It was almost weird, how much I was attracted to him. But I don't think that's what he was asking. It was only five words, but that was just about the biggest question I'd ever heard.

"I don't know yet," I told Luke honestly after some thought, "but I want to do it with you."

"I'm not talking about sex, Cole," he said with a little bit of warning in his voice.

"Neither am I." Although that was just about the most urgent thing on my mind right now.

"Your mom seems to think we'd make good life partners. Is that what you want, too?" Luke asked.

"It's only day two," I said, evading the question. "Let's wait a few weeks first, huh?"

But in my imagination I could see us living together: where, and doing what I don't know. Just being together seemed to be enough.

A few weeks? Shit, if things kept going at the rate they were, we'd be picking out curtains together next week!

No, maybe not. Looking over towards him, I could imagine us having great sex: but living together? What would we do when we weren't having sex? I had to admit, though, that Cole was growing on me. But damn it, I still didn't know much about him!

"Yeah. At least a few weeks," I muttered.

Cole gave me a puzzled, and worried, sidelong look.

A couple of minutes later we were at our destination, and I moved my car into the turn lane. I had presented this trip as us just going out for a little fun – but I had an ulterior motive. He'd been wearing those same worn out cutoff shorts and net shirt too often, so he probably didn't have anything else he thought was 'sexy'. They showed him off okay, but I wanted to see him in something that really did show him off well.

I found a parking space not too far from the main doors. I made an effort and shook off my mood, and soon we were browsing through the shops, laughing over the smallest things, and having a great time.

First we looked at bicycles. My idea. I'd thought maybe we could ride together, but after looking at a few Cole admitted that he really wasn't interested; he was looking forward to being able to drive soon.

I should have thought of that myself. If he was anything like I'd been, it'd be at least six months after he started driving before he'd be interested in using any other form of transportation, even for fun.

And then it hit me – Cole would be wanting to drive my car. Damn. I wish my folks had been rich, so I could afford to buy him something he could drive himself: used, of course. It wasn't that I didn't want to share, but it was a nice little car, and I didn't want it to get dented – something new drivers were good at, as I had found out after sharing 'war' stories with my friends. I'd put a couple in my first car, too.

But after browsing music stores and a few other places of interest, we finally got down to the real reason I'd brought him here. Clothes. If he wanted to look nice for me, he couldn't continue to wear the same shorts and shirt all the time. Cole tried to argue me out of it, but I wasn't budging.

"I like seeing you in those shorts, but you have to change clothes sometime," I said. "And since I'm pretty sure you're just doing it for me- You are, right?" I asked.

"I just felt like wearing something different from my big clothes," Cole said, totally unconvincingly.

"Uh-huh," I said doubtfully. "Anyway, a few things aren't going to break me."

"Why?"

Pretty vague question, but I thought I understood. "You look good in clothes that fit."

"I already like you, Luke. You don't have to do this."

"That's good to know," I replied. "But I want to."

"You don't have to buy me," Cole whispered, shame-faced.

I stopped what I was doing (looking through a rack of clothes) and looked at Cole.

Making sure we were making full eye contact, I said, "If I thought I could, I wouldn't. I can get sex without paying for it." I thought about that. "Well, no more than dinner and drinks, anyway." I was still underage, but I had raided my father's liquor cabinet on more than one occasion, and I had a couple of contacts that could buy more for me. "And you don't seem the type to sell—"

"I'm not!" Cole vehemently protested, obviously trying to keep his voice down and darting his eyes around to see if anyone was within hearing distance.

"Well, then, you want to wear clothes that fit you better, and I want to help!"

"But . . . ."

It took awhile, but when he finally gave in, Cole wanted to look at the skimpiest stuff the stores at the mall had. But with fall and winter coming on, I convinced him to limit those purchases to a bare minimum – no pun intended. He wanted tight. I asked him if he was still growing. When he said he was, we got a couple of pairs of shorts and light muscle shirts that fit him comfortably; they'd be tight in no time.

Summer purchases done, we moved on to jeans: three pairs of those, and trousers: two pairs. All of which hugged his ass wonderfully. We also got two belts – brown and black leather. They were necessary because we were getting most of these clothes a size larger than he now was, too. You better believe I was crossing my fingers and hoping that he would grow into them. Not that I cared about the cost that much, now that I had that extra income coming in. I'd planned on three hundred to four hundred dollars, but it would be very embarrassing to Cole if he didn't grow into them. Then again, his friends would most likely be wearing clothes at least two sizes larger than these.

We also got him two pairs of sweat pants with sweatshirts to match, and then on to shirts: six pocket-tees in various colors, four long-sleeved shirts in solid colors and two sweaters in neutral colors: cream, and dark chocolate brown. But as we were leaving the clothing section of the store I saw Cole pause slightly before again following after me. Looking back to see what had caught his attention, I only saw an underwear rack, and a row of dummy torsos modeling several styles.

I stopped. I hadn't thought of sexy underwear, but it seemed Cole had – just then anyway, if not before.

Oh, shit. He's seen the underwear. He's not really going to...

He is. Is my face as red as it feels?

"So what styles do you like?" Luke asked me.

"I've got underwear," I told him. Can we just go? I didn't say that last part out loud, of course; I didn't want to seem ungrateful for what he'd already done.

"Hm . . . ."

What does that mean?

"Yeah, I saw. But wouldn't you like something a little more sexy?" Luke asked.

Oh, god. Nobody heard that, did they? A quick look around showed that the nearest person was about ten feet away, so maybe nobody had.

"I'm fine," I said. Okay, so maybe my boxers were a little baggy too, but they did the job. And I probably wasn't going to be parading around in front of Luke in my underwear, anyway. Bare, maybe, but not in my underwear. At the back of my mind, though, I had a vague feeling that Luke might like seeing me in some sexy stuff.

Luke shrugged, and started looking through the packages. Is he ignoring me?

"You've got a great ass," Luke said, "so how about a thong?"

I could feel my blush deepening with the compliment."Fine!" Anything to get us out of here!

"How many pairs do you want?"

"That one's fine!"

"You're a small, aren't you?" Luke was still going through the packages and picking out more of them.

I ignored the question. "Come on . . . Please?"

Luke came over to me and whispered, "I think you'd look hot in these, and I'm almost busting my balls just thinking about it." Then he grinned at me and went back to the rack.

I was mortified, but Luke's admission had stirred me – and more than just physically. It sounded like I'd have some power over Luke, and that was tempting. But wouldn't people guess? Couldn't he buy them without me?

Luke threw almost a dozen packages into the cart. I hoped that was all, but I was on tenterhooks in fear that he'd go back for more. But he got behind the cart and started pushing. I hung back, trying to pretend that I didn't know him, while still not getting too far away. By the time we got to the checkout counter I'd got over my embarrassment enough to walk with him.

The guy at the register started ringing up our purchases.

"My friend here is optimistic," Luke said with a grin to the guy when he started ringing up the underwear. "He's hoping to impress a certain someone."

God, strike me dead, please. Open up the earth and swallow me whole.

The guy looked at Luke. "You?" he asked, deadpan.

I still wanted the earth to open up and swallow me, but inside I was cheering, too. If Luke's face was anything to go by, I'd have company. It was only later that I realized that the guy had recognized that I was gay, without even knowing me. Luke played it cool, though.

"You never know," Luke said.

"How could he know? And you! 'You never know'," Cole said, mimicking me. "Why not just come right out and say 'I'm buying underwear for my boyfriend'!"

That had me freezing in place, in surprised shock. Looking at Cole, I saw that he had suddenly become a lot more subdued, as well as totally silent. He seemed to be practicing for the part of a stop light.

"Was I?" I asked.

"Thank you for the clothes, Luke," Cole said, ignoring my question.

I almost pushed it, but decided that maybe it would be better to forget about it for now. "As for the checker: ever heard the saying 'it takes one to know one'?"

"You mean he's . . . ?"

"Yup." Finishing putting the bags in the trunk, I suggested, "How about we hit the food court?"

Cole shrugged. "Sure."

When we got there, I looked around. Cole was still acting a bit reclusive, so I tried to draw him out.

"What'd you like? Smoothie? Shake? Pop?"

Cole shrugged. He almost seemed to be in another world.

"I think I'd like a smoothie," I told him. "Horseradish maybe, with alfalfa and wheat grass." I paused. No reaction. "Throw in some protein powder. Maybe some codfish oil, too." Cole still didn't seem to be paying attention. "Maybe get a 'possum sandwich to eat."

I could see Cole surfacing.

"A what?"

I shook my head sadly at him. "I describe a totally disgusting drink to you, and you only come up for air when I mention an unusual sandwich?" I said, teasing him.

Cole looked at me blankly.

"I'd like to be your boyfriend," he said quietly.

Whoa! Did somebody get the number of the truck that just hit me? I'd just challenged Cole a couple of minutes ago when he'd made that 'boyfriend' comment, but I really didn't think he meant it. Not really. Not right now. Maybe in a couple of weeks, but really not now.

Cole dropped his eyes to the floor. "I'm sorry," he said.

I forced myself to react. "Um . . . No. No, that's all right. Just didn't expect it, you know?"

"I'll go wait in the car," Cole said dejectedly.

"Hey, hold on." My mind was finally in gear, and was racing to find a way to handle this situation. "Let's get a smoothie and something to eat. I need to think."

"What's there to think about? Either you like me, or you don't," Cole said quietly.

"I don't understand how you can decide that you like me that much when we don't even know each other very well," I said. "Let's at least get something to drink, huh?" I said, trying again.

Cole shrugged, and headed for 'The Smoothie Shack', with me close behind.

He got something with strawberries, banana and mango – a small. That sounded pretty good to me too, so I ordered the same thing, but upgraded both drinks to a large. I had a hunch Cole had ordered the small size because he was feeling a bit uncomfortable about me spending so much money on him.

There was a soft pretzel stand close by. "Hot pretzel?" I offered.

Cole shook his head.

I got one anyway, and tore it in half when we got to a table, putting the other half in front of him.

"So—" I started to say.

"Cole!"

Cole's head came up and looked in the direction the voice had come from – and groaned.

 "I don't need this right now," he complained quietly, still groaning.

"Hello, Kenny," he said to the boy who came up to him.

Kenny was a lively, nondescript looking boy of about Cole's age. Pleasant but unmemorable features, brown hair, regular build...

"Whatcha doin', Cole?" Kenny asked. Looking at me a bit suspiciously, he asked, "Who's this?"

Cole made the introductions. "This is Luke; he rented the apartment. Luke, this is Kenny: a friend of mine."

Although I wanted to keep Cole all to myself, here was a chance to get to know a little more about him.

"Hey, Kenny," I said with a smile.

"Hi," the boy responded. He was smiling, but he was also shooting little questioning looks at Cole occasionally.

"We were just having a snack – join us?"

Cole's expression told me he wasn't happy with my invitation, but I ignored it. Something about Kenny's expression and Cole's reaction to his presence was setting off minor alarms.

We sat around chewing the fat for about half an hour, other than a short bathroom break, and I did find out quite a lot about Cole. But not what the weird dynamics between he and Kenny were all about. I had a good guess though, and it wasn't making me happy.

On the way home, I broke the subject. "Kenny," I said.

"What about him?"

"Seems like a nice guy."

"He's okay."

"Old boyfriend, or one you haven't had a chance to break up with, yet?"

Cole's stricken look said my guess was right on the money.

"No! It wasn't like that!" Cole protested.

No? "So tell me."

"We just . . . fooled around a little."

"None of my business," I said, but that's not what I was feeling.

"Don't tell me you haven't!" Cole challenged.

I shrugged. He was right, of course. I'd gone the whole route – done just about everything. But . . . ."We're not talking about me. And I'm not passing judgment."

"Bullshit," Cole said bitterly.

"I'm not," I said expressionlessly.

"The hell you're not. It's all over your face!"

"Okay, then: tell me about it."

"We haven't done . . . it yet; but pretty much everything else," Cole kind of mumbled.

"And what's 'everything else'?"

"Sucking, grinding, between the legs . . . That kind of stuff."

"What did you talk about when you guys went to the bathroom?"

"I . . . let him know."

I was silent, waiting for him to go on. He did.

"That I was feeling things for you, and we wouldn't be . . . doing things anymore."

"Is that why he was upset when you guys came back?"

"Mostly, yeah."

"What else?"

"We were gonna . . . go 'all the way' next weekend," Cole revealed.

I thought about that for a minute. "And now?" I finally asked.

"Luke . . . I didn't want to. It didn't feel right. But he threatened to stop doing anything with me if we didn't."

"And now?" I asked again.

Cole was staring intently at the floorboard, his face crimson with shame.

"I don't care anymore. Not about him. It was just about getting off when I was with him, anyway. With you," he said before trailing off. Then he began again. "With you, I think it would be right."

I was angry, and jealous, and hurt.

I looked at him. "You think so? Tonight would be a good time to find out," I said flatly. I wasn't feeling any kind of affection for Cole right then; my only aim was to claim him – make him mine.

Damn Kenny all to hell! He would have to show up at that particular mall. It wasn't even the one we usually hang out at! And now Luke was mad at me. How had he guessed about Kenny and me? Not that it mattered. He wanted me tonight. So why wasn't I happy about that? Stupid question. Luke didn't want me because he loved me, he wanted me 'cause he was mad at me – because of Kenny. I felt dirty. Not because of Luke – because of what I'd done with Kenny.

I kind of felt that Luke was going to be punishing me tonight. And I kind of felt like I deserved it. I resented it, and it didn't really make sense, since I'd done all that stuff before I'd ever seen Luke, but that's the way I felt.

I took the tags off my new stuff when we got home and put them away. Then I picked out an outfit from it, including a pair of almost-sheer bikini underwear, and went and took a long, hot shower, scrubbing myself vigorously. I felt dirty, and I wanted to be clean for Luke.

It didn't help much, and now I was a little angry with Luke, too. I almost said 'to hell with it', but – I sighed – I wanted him too much.

After Cole went off to put his new clothes away I went into my apartment, put my earphones on and listened to some loud music, trying to calm down. Why the hell had I reacted so harshly, anyway? I was still upset by the time Cole came knocking on the door, but not nearly as much as I had been, and I'd figured out a couple of things.

I let him in, then went and sat back down in the overstuffed chair I'd been listening to my music in, although I shut the music off when I got there. Cole sat on the couch, and looked at me. A long, uncomfortable silence ensued.

"You look good in those clothes," I finally said to him.

"Thank you," he replied.

Another long silence, and then we both spoke at the same time.

"I shouldn't have got mad—"

"I'm sorry, Luke, I—"

I held my hand up, and Cole deferred to me.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I can't say I'm happy about Kenny, but that was all before we met." I looked at him. "That was all before we met, right?"

Cole nodded.

"And you told him you're not interested anymore?"

Cole nodded again.

I looked at him for awhile, not quite trusting him, and then something clicked, and I just let it all go.

"Come here," I said softly.

Cole got up and came over to me, and I slowly pulled him down on my lap. Once he was seated, I gently pulled him to me, and he slowly relaxed, letting his head fall into the crook of my neck and shoulder.

"You make me crazy, you know that?" I told him, keeping my voice soft. "Two fucking days, and I'm jealous as hell about some boy you whacked off with." Yeah, I knew it was quite a bit more than just mutual jerking off, but I had to trivialize it in order to keep my emotions in control.

"I'm sor—"

I put a finger to his lips, interrupting him. Then I lifted his face to mine, and softly kissed him.

"I've never had a boyfriend before, but if this afternoon is any indication," I said to Cole, "I'm going to be very possessive. Do you think you could handle that?"

Cole looked startled. "You've never had sex before?" he asked in an amazed tone of voice.

"That's not what I said. I just said I've never been in a real relationship before," I said, correcting him.

"Wham, bam, thank you . . . sir?" Cole remarked.

That drew a wry grin from me. "Something like that, yeah."

"Something like Kenny and me, then."

That wiped the grin right off my face.

"I'm trying to forget that," I warned him.

"You're not being fair, if you did the same thing," Cole protested.

"Okay, hold it," I ordered. "From now on there's just you and me. No more talk about past experiences." I looked at him suspiciously. "There isn't anyone else going to pop up, is there?"

Cole shook his head slowly, eyes just a bit wider than normal. "No, sir," he reassured me. "Just . . . him."

'Sir'? I dismissed it. "Is he likely to make trouble?"

Cole cocked his head sideways at me as he thought. "I don't think so, but . . . I don't know."

"Hm! Well, let's not borrow trouble. We'll deal with him if he does."

"Now," I continued, "you never did say if you could deal with me being a bit . . . ."

"Nuts?" Cole said with a tiny grin.

"Possessive," I corrected him, with a tiny slap to his rump.

"I've heard of this kind of thing," Cole said teasingly. "You master, me slave?"

I leered at him. "Sounds good to me," I said.

Cole laughed at me. "I like that you feel that strongly about me, but NO kinky games, boyo," he said with a grin.

I felt that we'd just barely escaped . . . something. Something bad that could have ruined everything. But Luke had just cuddled with me in that chair for awhile, then dumped me on the floor. Said I was getting heavy! But then he'd helped me up, and we made out on the couch for awhile. Just when I thought he might take our play to the bed, he turned the television on, and found a movie for us to watch. That didn't stop the kissing and groping, but it slowed it down.

And then Mom knocked on the door to tell me supper was ready. I didn't say anything out loud, but I was swearing a blue streak in my head. Usually I did the cooking and most of the cleaning, but since Luke moved in . . . Well, it was giving me more time with-

Damn. Mom was trying to set us up together!

But her timing was terrible! Come to that, anything that interrupted my time with Luke would have come at a bad time.

Luke must have seen my disappointment, 'cause he said, "Some other time, Cole. But you're welcome to come in any time you want."

"Why not tonight?"

"Too many bad feelings today. It'd be too much like 'make up' sex instead of 'just us' sex."

Yeah, okay. That made sense. Not that I'd mind 'make up' sex. But I could see what Luke was getting at; he wanted our first time together to be special - I think. Kind of silly, but it was romantic, too. Despite myself, I felt kind of soft and gooey inside.

I watched Cole leave, feeling a strong sense of affection, then went out to my car. I'd have to go shopping soon so I could start eating 'at home', but right now I'd have to get something to eat elsewhere. We'd been eating a lot of fast food, so I decided on Chinese. Get some veggies in my diet.

I wondered if Cole would pay me a visit tonight.

Copyright © 2006 by Shamyn Whitehawk